


First Day of Fall

by TinyTyper



Series: Fantober 2020 [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Fantober, Fantober 2020, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Loki has emotions, Male-Female Friendship, Sort Of, Walks In The Park, but also cute, its a bit rambly, loki and nat are bffs, nat helps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26668831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyTyper/pseuds/TinyTyper
Summary: Loki feels the cold and Natasha helps him stay warm.
Relationships: Loki/Natasha Romanov, Loki/Natasha Romanov (Friendship)
Series: Fantober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940461
Kudos: 18





	First Day of Fall

It had been quite a while since Loki had felt a real chill on his skin. 

He had been travelling around earth the past few years. “I just want to explore before I decide where to live” he had explained to Thor, who hadn’t asked more in favour of a shrug and a small smile. He was used to his brothers lies and could tell harmless from cunning deception without a beat. “Go then. I’ll be here when you return” he had said and walked out the room. 

In reality, he was avoiding the winter months and the biting cold that came with them. He had been to many places by now, done his fair share of seeing the world and actually enjoying what it had to offer. His first stop had been Brazil, where he stayed for a few months, thrilled to find people who enjoyed a party as much as he did, enthralled by the bright colours and lilting laughs of the people there. He moved further south for a time after that, basking in the sun whenever he could and enjoying the humidity that kept him warm through to his bones. 

He travelled to Europe, enjoying the charms of England, France, Spain and Germany, trying the local cuisine and taking sightseeing trips of his own volition. They had a vast history, he learned and understood now what Steve had been talking about when they first met. He shook his head at that and shuddered a little and decided it had been time to leave. 

He made his way around the world twice over before finally coming back to settle in New York. It had been awkward and tricky at first, but he had gotten to know the rest of his brothers friends after a time and had come to realise he had more in common with a few of them than he realised. 

Natasha had taken him by surprise and had been one of the first ones to introduce herself properly to him. Loki had considered it might have been more of a “friends close but enemies closer” situation, but he was appreciative of it none the less. After her, and with Thor’s ‘gentle’ coercing, he had been able to form some kind of working relationship with most of them. He even found some of Tony’s scientific ramblings interesting on occasion, but whenever Bruce entered the room or tried to talk about something else science related, the air would change and he would get heavily hinted at that he wasn’t wanted there anymore. 

Which, he had noted, was a probably fair. 

Over the months as the filter over New York became greyer, he ended up finding himself referring to Nat as a friend in most of his thoughts. They had a breakthrough when he asked her to train with him one night and they found a shared interest in unique looking daggers. After that, it was as if they had never been enemies. They talked most days, sometimes about work and sometimes about random things like how; “Tokyo Shout is by far the best ramen place near your apartment, and we should absolutely go there one day” and “Oh, you probably wont have seen a lot of movies, I’ll try and make a copy of Steve’s list for you”

They had fallen into an easy camaraderie and Loki wondered if this is what it was like with Thor and his friends from Asgard. Would he talk about music and movies and other earth things with Fandral? Probably not. He imagined they more likely discussed women and wine.

Loki took a quick look out his window before grimacing. He could see the orange leaves that had fallen throughout the day, the evening lights giving them a dull glow and noted that there was at least a small breeze in the air from the way they rustled. Jacket _and_ scarf then, he decided, pulling both from his wardrobe. He walked to his front door, keys in hand and locked it behind him, feeling his pocket buzz softly. He pulled out his phone (one of the things he was most happy to have been introduced to in his time on Earth) and unlocked it, seeing the text from Natasha. He replied as he walked down the stairs and only halted for a moment before pushing the front door open. 

As he stepped outside, he could feel the chill in the air. He could feel the cold hit his throat as he breathed in, not in the uncomfortable burning way, more pleasantly cooling. He started walking towards the direction of the park nearby. It was only about a block away and she’d promised him a hot drink when he got there. 

As he walked, he found himself enjoying the light breeze, loosening his scarf a little, the cold feeling more inviting than he had remembered. When he arrived at the park, he saw her waiting for him over at one of the benches, two takeaway cups in hand. Seeing him nearing the bench, she stood and smiled gently, motioning to one of the cups; “Sorry, I got these too early and it’s cooled a little”

Loki shrugged and took it from her, feeling the slight heat on his fingers. “I’ll drink it any way, I like the flavour” 

Natasha furrowed her brow. “I’ll never understand why people like black coffee” 

“Probably something to do with bitterness” he quipped, taking a sip of the lukewarm drink, making a mental note that coffee is most definitely better piping hot. She just rolled her eyes and motioned for him to walk with her. They headed down through the park, leaves rustling at their feet as they walked by. 

“I’m honestly surprised you’re still around. From what your brother told us about where you were travelling before, I had assumed you’d be gone by the time October came around” 

Loki huffed a chuckle at that. “I did consider it. I could have easily gone back to Brazil, to bask in the warm weather once again... But I thought it was time to stop running” 

He took another sip of his coffee but by now it had lost all its soothing warmth. He felt the cold liquid as it ran down into his stomach and it made him shiver. A few steps later, he could still feel the chill, now growing slightly in his chest. 

“Well, that’s awfully brave of you. It can be hard to turn around and face the thing that’s chasing you without being scared” Nat looked down at her cup and shook it a little. It was clearly empty before he had even showed up at the park, but she had kept a hold of it anyway. 

“Who said anything about not being scared?” Loki replied. He was trying not to focus on the fact that his fingertips were beginning to grow cold in his pocket. As they walked, they passed a garbage can and both of them threw their cups away. His landed with a thunk at the bottom. 

“What thing on earth could possibly scare the trickster god into running around the world” she joked, a smile on her face as she nudged his arm. 

When he turned to look back at her, she stopped laughing. 

“Loki what’s wrong?” instantly serious she stopped them walking, standing halt in the middle of the path they were walking down. 

He looked up and down the path, debating with himself whether or not to trust the person in front of him with the truth. But she had come this far with him, both of them had fostered the bond with each other the past few months and he decided to take a leap, decided to test its strength. He looked back to her and said,  
“I’m sure my brother would have told you already, that I’m not really a son of Odin. My blood is not that of the light and sun and the warmth that comes with it, like the people of Asgard. I was born on a frozen wasteland, not fit to live by my true family’s standards. I would have died if Odin hadn’t taken pity on me”

He balled his hands into fists by his side, feeling the cold spread from his chest; down through his hips to his legs, feet, toes; outwards through his arms to connect with the cold of his fingers; up towards his neck where he had loosened his scarf and could feel the cold breeze picking up against his skin. 

“Loki...”

“I never want to go back to what I was before. I was so full of jealousy and grief and fury back then, when I realised what I truly was. But when Thor invited me to come back to Earth, I realised I could chase something else. I could stay in the light and I could move on and never be that person again. But it was only temporary, as most things are. I can’t keep up with it anymore”

He looked up to the tops of the trees as he heard the leaves move about in excitement, waiting to fall. Natasha stayed quiet, watching him carefully. 

“I can show you what I’m afraid of better than I can explain it…” he commented, dropping his head to look back at her. Natasha looked wary of him; one brow gently cocked in a curious look. She folded her arms across her chest and nodded, the slightest movement, but Loki noticed.

He slowly held out his hands in front of him, drawing in a steady breath to focus. He felt the dull thrum of constant magic all at once release in a sigh and it made him tense his shoulders. His safeguard was gone. Looking down he felt that he didn’t see his hands anymore, although, they were his. He tilted his head down and undid the top button of his shirt to see skin that wasn’t his… Although it was. He was sure that if he looked in a mirror right now, he wouldn’t recognise his own face, even though he knew it must be his own. It was a person he didn’t recognise anymore. He refused to. 

And there it was, the cold loneliness and disgust that he didn’t want to face, flourishing in his chest. He had been choosing to run from this confrontation for much too long and it had grown into something ugly, cobalt blue streaked with red, illuminated in the streetlights along the pathway and it was overwhelming and thundering and he couldn’t stop thinking about how cold it had been the first time he had seen a glimpse of himself and-

Warmth cut through his train of thought. Searing heat on his skin, on his cheek, pulling him out from the hole he was falling into. He looked up and saw Natasha and realised that she had lifted her hand to his face. 

He looked to her eyes and saw no ounce of hesitation or fear to see him like this. 

“Nat, I-”

“You know, for a god, you’re pretty stupid” she said softly.

Loki furrowed his brow. Natasha laughed at his expression and it made a new heat bloom and begin to radiate inside him. She placed her other hand on the opposite side of his face. Where her skin connected with his he felt warmth melting into him. 

“I’ve seen a lot of really weird shit in the past couple of years, but one of my best friends turning blue has got to be the least terrifying of them all” 

She emphasised her point by squishing his cheeks slightly and shooting him a gentle smile. He felt the heat returning to his limbs all in one thunderous wave, meeting and mingling with the cold it found there until he no longer felt frozen.

He felt his shoulders slowly ease as swells of emotion crashed off of him. He felt lighter than he had in an incredibly long time. 

Before Natasha could say anything else, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders. He felt her surprise as she paused for a second, shocked at the sudden push into her space, before she slowly moved her arms to return the hug.

“Thank you…” he whispered into her shoulder, barely louder than the sound of the leaves swirling past their feet. When he pulled back to look at her, he realised he was grinning softly. Some of her words she had said were still swirling around in his head and the look in her eyes had been so genuine, that he was sure he didn’t mistake the truth in them. 

“You should never have to be scared of who you are, Loki,” she spoke with a serious tone, but it was nonetheless caring. “And besides, I think blue looks good on you”

Both of them laughed at that comment and Loki quickly moved his hands to re-do his top button. 

“I’ve not shown many people this side of myself. I’m always worried that if I do, then the cold will take over me, frighten them… It’s something I always have thought to hide because people don’t always understand” 

“You don’t need to force yourself to. I’m happy that you trusted me enough, but the choice is always yours. Humans definitely suck and there’s a lot of issues in this world that stem from how different people look, but a lot of good can come from it too. Just make sure you’re comfortable” She patted the side of his arm and gave him a reassuring smile. 

Loki nodded, appreciative of her advice. He glanced up the pathway and noticed a small group of people heading their way. Maybe not right now, he thought to himself. Nat followed his gaze and when she turned her head back to him, she caught only a glimpse of the blue and red disappearing, pale skin left behind in its wake. She looked up to him with a knowing smile and took his arm when he offered it to her. 

They walked down the path, the other people passing them without comment. As the two happily fell into comfortable silence, Loki couldn’t help himself. 

“So, I’m one of your best friends?” he grinned, mischievously. 

“Shut up, I don’t have best friends” she quipped back, a playful lilt in her voice.

“Oh, I see. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Reputations to save, for both of us” 

Loki winked at her but Natasha just rolled her eyes and quickened their pace. 

“Come on snowman, let’s go get some hot food. I’m practically freezing”

**Author's Note:**

> This was my very first ao3 fic! 
> 
> It is also my first fic for #Fantober2020! I had instant inspiration for this one and it only took me a little over two hours to complete so I'm pretty proud of myself for that! I love Loki/Nat friendship so god damn much and you can pry it from my cold dead hands.
> 
> I've also decided that once I've finished writing my fics, I'm not going back to it so that I don't keep picking holes in my own writing lmao (I end up wanting to change a million and one things and move paragraphs around and everything otherwise)
> 
> Please check out the official Fantober account on twitter at [Fantober2020](https://twitter.com/fantober2020)
> 
> I'm using the prompt list as the titles for my fics!


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